One Month Postpartum & One Month Old Update

I can’t believe it has been an entire month since since my baby girl was born! This month has been a learning curve, an adjustment period, and filled with more love than you can imagine. Our Family and Friends are obsessed with Emory and we are so blessed to be able to call her ours. With that being said lets jump right into the first month of updates!

ONE MONTH POSTPARTUM:

If you haven’t read my Birth Blog or how my Hospital stay was, I suggest checking them out. After four days spent in the Hospital we were finally released to go home. The first night was super weird because we didn’t have any immediate help, but I will say that I was 10x’s more physically comfortable than I was in the Hospital. Emotionally… I felt more stable while in the hospital. I know my hormones were just processing and trying to get back to normal after being so off for nine months. The first two weeks postpartum were fairly rough. I was still had a lot of physical discomfort and now I was also crying randomly for absolutely know reason. I felt as if I was still Pregnant. Two incidents I remember specifically was when my In Laws came to drop off a few things for us and I was sitting on one of the barstools in the kitchen holding back tears. I felt so alone even though I was surrounded by people. That entire first week after bringing the baby home we had someone there everyday. Brandon’s parents would come over with dinner and stay with us in the evening. My Grandparents came to meet Emory as well as my closest cousins and aunt that first weekend. No matter how many people came and my constant YES to a visitor because I just did not want to be alone. I wasn’t scared to be with Emory by myself if that is what you are thinking. My entire life I have always hated being by myself especially when I am going through a big change. And this is definitely pretty BIG! Yes, I love my alone time when I am trying to get something done, I am focused and motivated on a task, or just to get some space. I am a lotted that pretty often because of my Husbands career path as a Firefighter, but for the most part i like to have someone with me, even if it is just sitting in silence. The second incident was mine and Brandon’s two year Wedding Anniversary. The date happened to fall 4 days after our daughters birth and on a Saturday. We had a ton of people over that day and Brandon spent most of it running errands. My Mom and I were sitting on the couch eating lunch and I told her how I had been feeling since getting home two days prior. I was highly emotional and Brandon hadn’t been paying much attention to me. We had not had a real conversation since Emory was born, spent any quality time together, or just been intiment in any capacity. Like barely a kiss. I mentioned the crying thing as my eyes were red and puffy. Of course she validated that this was all normal and come that afternoon I was sick of all the guests although I thought that is what I needed, but what i really needed was time with my Husband that wasn’t spent worrying about the baby or the house or bills. I know Brandon’s mom spoke to him at some point because he began acting different. Instead of wanting to go play his game, he would sit with me and hold me. Which is exactly what I needed. Some sort of physical touch to know that I am still loved and wanted. We had spent 4 days apart in separate beds while in the Hospital and I was physically recovering from pushing a baby out of my vagina. My top love language is physical touch, so you can see why this is what ultimately helped my postpartum emotional self. I also subtly spoke to him on what I needed after a few days because I couldn’t take feeling the way I was feeling anymore. I am glad I did and so grateful that my Mother-In-Law did as well because he came home with flowers and a few activities for us to do on our Anniversary. We carved pumpkins as a family of three and decorated Halloween cookies! It was the most normal I felt and the most fun I had since being home.

One of my worst fears is developing PPD or PPA. Seeing how emotion I was the first week or so scared me because I thought it may be the start of Postpartum depression. I realized it wasn’t because it wasn’t a continuous emotion, but off and on. Talking about how I was feeling and communication helped me through that and will continue to help me. Brandon is a hot head and pops off at the mouth a lot. He was doing this a lot during the first couple weeks of us being home. To the point I really had to sit down and have a conversation with him, so did his Mother. We have never spent this much time together in the span of our relationship, I believe the frustration of becoming a new Father, not working, and trying to find a purpose was getting to him. He definitely needed to gain more patience with a newborn for sure. After the conversation things became a lot better, neither one of us is perfect and learning how to be parents is a process. As far as my anxiety goes, it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either. I have never had much anxiety in my life, but having a newborn that is all your responsibility is nerve racking to say the least. The nights were the worst for me. Always checking on her. Having a pit in my stomach because i am nervous she may suffocate or choke. It is worse when she isn’t asleep yet, but I am ready to go to bed. It has gotten much better since the first couple weeks. I am now in more of a routine and comfortable being a mom. I am not as nervous or scared about something as I was the first few days/nights. This could also be due to lack of sleep that I am too tired to worry. I don’t think I will never not worry about something, but I know how to handle it in a healthy way and that is what matters.

Not only was my emotional state on the fritz, but my physical one was too. The day after coming home we had Emory’s first Pediatrician appointment scheduled. We were running late and I felt perfectly normal. Three days postpartum and I took the stairs a little too fast and I felt really sick. Like my body forced me to slow down. On the car ride to the doctors office I started to feel normal again, but as we started to walk to the office my legs would barely move. It seemed like I was moving slower than a turtle and could hardly breathe. It took everything in me to take a deep breath. My chest was on fire and it felt as if someone was sitting on my chest. After her appointment Brandon convinced me to call my OBGYN’s office and they asked that I go in right away to get checked out seeing that my symptoms were on the list of things to look out for. We had so many things going on at once with Brandon taking care of Emory and my Father-In-Law generously driving me down the street to my doctors office. While waiting in the lobby I felt normal. I was called to the back and my blood pressure was checked and completely normal, which was a really good thing considering I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia after birth. I was able to breathe normally and my pulse ox was also normal. My doctor came in and pressed on my uterus and that had also gone down significantly for it only being three days post birth. Turns out I was having really bad heartburn. I had never felt this type of heartburn before. I had acid reflux my entire pregnancy, but i never had heartburn. My Father-In-Law had suspected this and it was confirmed by my OB. She also said that it is normal to feel “normal” and try doing normal activities, but then your body reminds you that it was just put through a trauma and needs more than 3 days to recoopirate. The rest of the day i took it really easy and other than laundry and washing baby bottles the rest of the week was either me on the couch or in my bed.

The first two weeks postpartum were by far the most difficult to get through. My emotions were out of whack, my body was physically drained, and “down there care” was an event by itself. I would get so mad because I hate not being able to do anything. I constantly was scolded by family for lifting the laundry baskets or trying to clean the kitchen because I wanted it done and I cannot stand my house being in disaray. I feel like I am going crazy if things are everywhere and one of my worst fears going into postpartum. Also something I was nervous about going into postpartum was my Vag care. This is something no one talks about. It may be too personal for some people, but I had know idea what to really expect as far as how long you use the care products. I knew what to get by research and recomendations, but how long am I supposed to wear the diapers or huge pads? When do I stop putting tucks and the healing foam on top of said pads? When is it okay to stop using the perry bottle? These were questions I had no answers to and I am sure most woman just play it by ear and do as they see fit.

So just in case other woman had/have the same issue I am referring to I am going to share my experience. I wore the mesh panties that the hospital gave me for the first two days home. I also used the ice packs they give as needed for swelling and pain. Then I switched to my Always depends, which are super comfy by the way, and wore those with my always long pads. I placed two tucks pads on top and pumped the fridamom foam onto of that. I then rinsed my vag with the perry bottle and I preferred colder water rather than warm water because it helped numb the area from burning and dabbed with non scented wipes. I also sprayed the area with earth mama healing spray. This process took forever! I felt like I was always in the bathroom. I did this for a full two weeks after birth and then began to wear black high waisted underwear I purchased from amazon. I still wore the longer pads and I used the tucks pads for a few more days, but stopped using the perry bottle, foam, and healing spray. I then switched from the big pads to normal pads I would wear for a normal period even though I was hardly bleeding at this point, but I didn’t want to take any chances. By the end of the third week I began using toilet paper again and went from pads to pantie liners. I was only spotting at that point and by the middle of the week it had turned into brown discharge. That Saturday I had completely stopped using any form of “down there care” for postpartum. I didn’t feel completely normal because I still had a little bit of soreness, but not much. In my experience by four weeks postpartum my lady region had pretty much healed.

I did get 2 or 3 stitches do to “skid mark’ tears. They were very small, but would not stop bleeding on their own so the OB that preformed my delivery put a couple in. I remember checking my lady parts for infection like I was told and seeing the 3 little bubbles where the stitches were. It was definitely weird. I don’t know when the stitches fell out, but I know they were gone sometime in the third week of post birth. The last time I checked down there, about a week ago, everything looked like it had before birth.

On October 28th I had my three week postpartum check up. I was told to come in at this time given my pre-eclampsia diagnosis. I was seen by my OB’s PA and I was given a vaginal exam only because I had mentioned that I was having soreness in my lady parts that i wasn’t sure if it was normal or not. I was not having any pain or soreness in my actual vag area, but instead above it. The PA assumed it was from the last remaining outside stitches that were poking up. This made since because I mainly felt the pain when I would sit straight up. I do not have this pain anymore so it is safe to say that the stitches were causing the issue. At this point my blood pressure had become normal and I was told that there wasn’t any need to continue with the blood pressure medication I was told to take as needed. Brandon had been checking my blood pressure every morning and night for the first week postpartum due to pre-eclampsia which is High blood pressure in pregnancy. Woman can experience this for six weeks after birth, but it can also disapear before then. I would only take this medication if my BP was elevated, that is why we continued to check because if my BP was normal and I swallowed a pill I was at risk for passing out and feeling very tired and sluggish seeing as the meds make your BP go down. By the second week I was skipping pills because my blood pressure would be good in the morning but not at night and vice versa. At the end of that week I stopped taking them completely because my BP stayed normal. Thankfully at this appointment I was given the all clear.

After a month postpartum I feel like myself for the most part. I have not had an emotional breakdown or felt like crying out of the blue since the second week. Brandon and I have continued to communicate with each other so nothing gets left in the dark. I am terrified to develop PPD or PPA and I am determined to do everything in my power so that does not happen. Physically I feel normal other than a few moments of vaginal soreness, but that is my own fault for doing “things” not recommended by the doctors at four weeks postpartum, if you get my drift. My Postpartum BOD is looking good. I still have a bit of a foopa, but that is very normal. My hips have spread and my thighs are definitely bigger. My boobs are huge and have become a bit sore with breastfeeding, but with earth momma nipple cream it isn’t too bad. One last thing… I thought I made it throughout my pregnancy without stretch marks… and I did, but postpartum I developed a couple between my thighs and butt cheeks. Brandon is the one that noticed them after being home for a week. They are hardly noticeable, but they are there. I don’t have them anywhere else, but I am assuming they are from my hips and thighs widening. I try to go walking as much as I can for fresh air, that helps with mental health as well as getting my body back in shape. Once given the all clear from my doctor I am going to start working out again and try yoga for the first time. That about sums up the first month of my postpartum experience. Remember everyone is different, but all woman go through PP after birth. We all need to support each other through our individual experiences. As woman we are freaking amazing! Our bodies do something magical. It is a difficult road for most and is not always fun, but the love for our children makes the entire process worth it.

ONE MONTH OLD UPDATE:

Thursday, October 13th we were able to take our preemie baby home. The first night home with Emory went by in a blur. Honestly this entire month has gone by in a blur. After Em’s early morning feed Brandon and I stayed awake and prepared to leave for her first Pediatrician appointment after birth. We ran a little late, but we made it and Brandon finally met the doctor we picked for our daughter. The nurse first took her weight and length. She had only gained an ounce since leaving the hospital at 5 pounds 1 ounce. Her birth weight was 5 pounds 6 ounces, but it is typical for babies to loose weight right after birth and gain it back within the first two weeks of life. As of discharge the day before Emory was exactly 5 pounds. Little miss thang had to show out and pee on the exam table, but apparently that is very normal too. We were taken into an exam room where her pediatrician thanked us for bringing in all of her paperwork and proceeded to exam Emory. She asked us if we had any concerns or questions, here Brandon and I expressed that we were worried about her eating and gaining weight. We felt as if she wasn’t getting enough to eat because I couldn’t predict how much she was getting off of my boob and she was barely drinking from the bottle. The doctor said that she needs to be getting at least an ounce and she was fine with a bad feeding and then a good feeding as long as the shorter feedings weren’t becoming consistent. I was also asked for about how long did she recommend for breastfeeding, with the answer of no longer than 15 minutes a boob. She told us to come back the following Monday because of our feeding concerns. A concern that our pediatrician had was her jaundice levels. Apparently she looked yellow and I actually had not noticed it at all until it was pointed put to me. She had yellow spots around her eyes and on her stomach, but it wasn’t that bad or noticeable unless you are looking for it, or in my case it being pointed out to you. We were asked to ride over to the Hospital she was born at to get her labs checked. Her levels were a little high, but nothing to be concerned about when we left the hospital the previous day which was one of the reasons the doctor wanted to have them checked. I am very grateful I did not have to witness my tiny little girl get her heel pricked for the thousandth time because I was having some health issues of my own and had gone to see my OB. We got the results later that day and everything came back normal. This definitely eased a new momma’s mind. Over the weekend Brandon and I celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary by carving Pumpkins and decorating Halloween cookies as a Family. It was definitely one of my favorite anniversaries. We continued to do our best to make sure she was getting enough to eat and I aloud myself some grace to not stress over the situation. Monday afternoon we made it to our second pediatrician appointment and again nurse took her weight and measurments. Baby girl had only gained an ounce since Friday. The Pediatrician said that she hadn’t gained as much as she would have liked and to try and give her a bottle after she is pulled off of my boob. Brandon and I have continued to do this since that second appointment. My heart dropped because my I felt like my little girl was starving, even though she wasn’t. My postpartum hormones definitely overcame me. We were also instructed that getting Vitamin D drops would be a good idea since she is being breastfeed with suplimenting because most breastfed babies do not get enough of this Vitamin. We had another appointment set for the following Monday to make sure she was still gaining. Brandon dropped Em and I off at the house and he ran to the store. I made Emory a bottle, but while feeding her I began to feel even worse. Em was barely drinking a thing and it was an hour past her feeding time. She started to get cranky and I was frustrated because her Pediatrician literally just said she isn’t getting enough to eat, but she was refusing to eat more than a half an ounce. We paused for a few minutes so we could snap some photos in celebration of her being one week old! I thought this would ease my mom guilt and sense of desperation to get my daughter to eat, but it barely did a thing. Brandon came home and tried to help, but nothing really did until her evening and night feeds when she was downing her bottles. I was very grateful and the pit in my stomach began to fill.

The rest of the week we all began adjusting to our new life as a family of three. We spent most of the time in bed and I was napping at least once a day. Energy came in spurts and were used for picking up our room and restocking on all things baby. Brandon had started back at his side job doing curbing. (decorative concrete) He only works during the week days and that is only when there is a job lined up and gets home no later than 2pm and that is if it is a job that is on “location”. Brandon would try and do the early morning feed on the days he worked so I could sleep in and then I would do her next feed and depending on the time or how I felt I would go back to sleep and count that as my nap for the day, unless I was overly tired, or I would get up and start moving. That Friday we left Emory for the very first time since she was born. We dropped her off with my Mother so we could attend a close friends Birthday dinner. I chose not to take her with us because of out of the family germs. It was hard to leave her and then two hours into the night I was missing her desperately that my mood began to drop from cheerful to kind of depressed. Loving on my little girl after three and a hours of missing her was the best feeling in the world. Sunday we had our first Football Sunday with Em at Brandon’s grandparents. The week prior we decided to host because we had just come home from the hospital. We were still adjusting to being parents and hadn’t been out of the house for more than two hours with her. I was also still in some pain and trying to figure out how to manage the physical aspect of postpartum. We made sure to rush home after the game because my childhood best friend was coming over to take Emory’s newborn photos. It was fun to catch up with him and he got to meet my daughter. Em was not that helpful at first because it was past her feeding time. It was my fault because I accidentally fell asleep at football and did not have time to feed her before we left. After she had a bottle she was much happier and allowed us to “mess” with her to get some pretty amazing shots.

The next day we yet again went to visit the Pediatrician. Emory was two weeks old at this point and we were both hoping for the best. The nurse took us back for her to be weighed and baby girl came in at 5 pounds and 8 ounces. We were very happy and hopeful that this was a good amount of weight gain within a week. This time Em did not poop or pee on the weigh table that she had done in the past, the second appointment was hilarious (before we were told she hadn’t gained enough of course) because she not only peed on the table, she pooped on it. The first thing the doctor said upon entering the exam room was how good Emory was looking and her weight gain was consistent. She did her typical exam and asked us if we had anymore concerns, which we did not. We were told that we didn’t have to come back for two more weeks at her one month appointment! This was music to my ears. Leaving the Pediatricians office we headed to the Pumpkin Patch up the street. It was our first family outing that was an activity and the first time we used the stroller. I coordinated our outfits without Brandon realizing it, my only regret was my sweater because it was pretty hot that day. Georgia weather for you. We purchased a couple small pumpkins and headed to she store and then home.

On Tuesday we gave Emory her very first real bath. We had the whole set up in the kitchen and baby girl didn’t know what to think. The angle care bath seat was for sure a little big for her, she just sunk right down in that thing. She was shocked at first and then screamed and then took a break and then screamed. It was funny and I got it on tape. Wednesday we went on our very first walk and made the cutest Halloween sign using Emory’s feet. I got to pull out my Tuck and Bundle wrap for the first time and walk around the block. The next day we had another walk, but this time it was our first Family Walk with Brandon and Ellie. The week was going by smoothly and Em was continuing to have her good eating sessions and her not so good ones. When she gets overly fussy it is harder for her to eat from my boob because she is to frustrated to try and suck the milk out. My girl is also a bit lazy and would rather not have to work for it if she doesn’t have to. Some days I would be so frustrated with myself and a little with her because we aren’t the typical Breastfeeding mom and baby and we still continue to supplement. Emory can also be a slow eater or eat really fast and then trick herself into being full. I can tell you that my little girl has some big poops! Almost all her diapers are poopy ones! Which is a good thing because it means her digestive tract is doing exactly what it is supposed to. This also comes along with her gas! This child is never not tooting! It is actually pretty funny, she has some grown man farts! That Sunday we celebrated her Due Date and enjoyed another Football Sunday and Monday we celebrated Emory’s first Halloween! My babes dressed up as a Pumpkin and took our second Family picture after handing out candy to trick or treaters at my In Laws.

In her third week of life I started noticing how big she was getting! My little girl was getting long and she had outgrown two of her preemie outfits. We also switched her from preemie diapers to Newborn ones. I was amazed and a little sad because she wasn’t my tiny tiny baby anymore even though she was still pretty small. It is so counterintuitive because I am so happy and proud that my baby is growing because it means that she is healthy, but at the same time I feel as if the first month of her life flashed by and it is crazy how mush she has grown in my eyes. Before we knew it she was four weeks old and taking 4ounce bottles, well for the most part. Her feedings were still inconsistent, but as long as she was eating at least 2 ounces we were fine with it. She went from sleeping through her feeds and making Brandon and I set alarms and wake her up for middle of the night feeds to her beginning to wake us up telling us when she is hungry. During the day she began taking shorter naps, some days she would take frequent ones and then others she would be wide awake and alert for 5 hours at a time. This made for a very cranky baby because she was overly tired and couldn’t put herself to sleep without some help. For the most part she would sooth almost instantly when put on my chest and then others she would go to sleep just fine in her basinet soothing herself to sleep when she wasn’t cranky. The witching hour is definitely a thing in our house because around the evening time is when she gets the most upset. I am very grateful that our night are not like our days when it comes to Emory’s sleeping habits. She will sleep for long stretches during the night and go back down fairly easy afterwards. At least at this stage. The first two weeks she would not want to go back down after her middle of the night feed around 3 or 4am. Thank God that part ended. She can also become restless and uncomfortable. A lot of the time we assume that is due to gas, but once she gets it out she goes back to her normal self. We noticed that she started to have baby acne around her eyes and on her cheeks. It isn’t bad by any means, just something that a lot of babies develop. Thankfully she hasn’t gotten cradle cap or any signs of flat head which tummy time helps prevent. At 1 to 2 weeks we were doing tummy time just on Mommy or myself, by laying her on my chest or lap, but at about 3 weeks I started using her activity mat. Emory has some really strong muscles not just in her neck but in her limbs. Her little kicks and baby grip is mighty.

Four weeks turned into a MONTH and we headed to her next appointment. Here we found that she gained over a pound coming in at 6 pounds 14 ounces! I was shocked and very happy and knew that I was right after hypoing up how much she has grown. Em is by know means chubby, but she has gotten so long! The doctor was also highly impressed with her weight gain and said that we could space her feeds out to four hours. This is mainly for her night feeds or if she is taking a really good nap or if she isn’t showing hungry cues. We definitely feed her before the four hour mark if she is showing that she needs food. We were also told to be prepared for the 6-8 week sleep regression stage that she may go through. I am not looking forward to it because I don’t handle not sleeping very well as it is and Brandon will be headed back to work at that point. We set our two month appointment which is going to be nerve racking because of SHOTS but we are ready.

Emory loves visiting with Family every week and so do us as parents. We have a friend session every weekend including babies first fair this past weekend. Going into her second month of life I plan on creating and getting on a good schedule in preparation of Brandon going back to work and adding a sense of normalcy back into our lives. This will also help me maintain my hormones in postpartum by keeping busy and not laying in bed all day, but have motivation to get things done. I have loved and enjoyed every second of this first month as a Mother and getting to know my precious baby girl. I cannot wait to see what the future holds!